the life of riding!

Today....

- woke up, went biking....


Yea, thats pretty much it. It felt awesomely great though. I spent the entire day biking all throughout the great city of Pleasanton! :) heee. I biked through main street, beautiful and lots of pretty underage girls boo! :( they need to be older! anyways, went to Borders, read a little about diet and exercise, did some studying. went in to Sports Challet checked out some new volleyballs! thinking about buying a nice one to use at my open gyms. Yea, anyways, i bought some lights to put on my bike so i could ride at night. :DDD. Maybe one of the best days ive had in a while! heee :)

- Fill Out!

This is why You are Fat!

I was talking to my brother yesterday and he sent me a link to this site that shows a lot of ridiculously fatty foods that people eat.. enjoy!


http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/page/1

i would post the pics, but the pictures just dont do it justice!

Lets Ride!

So last week, i went to Emeryville and took a look at a road bike. My brothers are both really in to biking and so i decided to join on the trend! I bought it. It turns out it was an excellent buy. a close to $600 dollar bike, nearly mint condition for $360! awesome i saved $240! :)
Its a 2003 Giant OCR3. Yes, its beautiful! So far i've only ridden it 4 times, but hopefully it becomes a part of my regular work out. Running and biking. That reminds me, i havent been running in a week. Heh, spring break! But now its over and i'm not so free to eat whatever i want and do what ever i want. Man, i think i may be spoiling myself. After the firs 4 times riding, my butt is so unbelievably sore! well the part in between my guch and my butthole! dont know what its called, but it hurts, i have to walk sideways when i get off after a long ride. :(

anyways, must get back to real life! studying and exercising!

- fill

Anger

I dont know this feeling very well. I guess you could say, i hardly ever feel this emotion anymore. Sometimes i really wish that i could just unleash all my anger and rage for the past i dunno years and feel this immense release of tension.

But i entitle this chapter anger, because i really felt angry Tuesday. and i never, i mean never get angry. I get angry as often as seeing a meteor in the sky. The past 8 years of my life, i've devoted myself to one of only a few things, My Profession, My Family, and Church. Out of these 3, i would say that Church is the one i most am devoted to. But for some reason as i've been of service to this organization, if i want to voice my opinion, i immediately get shut down and am rejected forever. During the 2 1/2 hr meeting, i spoke for 5 min. 4min and 45 sec i was reporting my division of church. the other 15, i was suggesting a better way for us to better serve our community, It took 15 secs for them to cut me off, shut me up and never talk about it again! WT....Freak! I mean i understand that I may still be looked as a child to these 30, maybe 40+ adults, but damn it, show me some respect for what i've done the past 8 years! How hard is it to ask for you to just listen to my opinion. Im not even asking for you to agree with me, i just want to be heard. i never thought that i would ever dislike a part of church, but church politics sucks ass! Its things like this that really make me want to quit, then there'll be no one to take my place and our church youth will fall apart, and the kids will suffer. And i cant do that can I! I wonder if my predecessors went through this and came to the same conclusion. Well, this is me venting.

- fill wants to release all his hidden anger.

A Prescription of Happiness : Take when symptoms of "Joy" are gone

Its already April, Spring is in full bloom, only it keeps raining.

Lately I've been feeling a lot of burden on my life. I'm not sure how this all came to be, but it suddenly hit me that i live my life filling the expectations of others. I dont know if Life is supposed to be like this, but i dont like it at all.

My understanding of how society works is, people cant live without other people, its just not human nature, we're very social creatures. We thrive on being with others, building relationships of all sorts. Nowadays, people thrive of the fight to survive and become a success. And this has now a high value in our lives. We are measured by how successful we are and how long we can keep that success. A perfect example of this is the Ipod. Yea, and ipod. Its a total status symbol. I am socially acceptable and somewhat well off because i have an ipod. Its the same with all products. People mistake these status empowering products as fads and fashion statements, but its really saying, look at me, im rich. I think we've lost all the happiness that we hold in our lives. How often have you hiked up a mountain and just enjoyed the view? When was the last time you enjoyed the scent of a flower? When was the last time you laughed so hard you couldnt breathe? When was the last time you just spent some time not being busy? When was the last time you just closed your eyes to a song and just let your mind and soul feel the beat?

These things all increase happiness. They help us relax and just enjoy life so much more. Why can't we do this everyday? There is no reason, only that we choose not to. Its so sad, It could be one hour, 5 min, even a min of your time and you could be in a totally different place!

Back to my original point though, I busy myself with all these expectations, that i dont have the time to enjoy my life. From this moment on, i promise to myself to be happier!

- fill out~!


Last Run : 12:00 "still haven't broke the 10 min mark!"
Girl : What Girl? Be more proactive Fill!!

World Baseball Classic

Korea v. Japan 1-0. This game was so fun to watch, even though they didnt score a lot. I really want to go the finals in LA, even though baseball isnt that fun to watch haha. Maybe its just the korean pride in me that really wants to hope to see Korea get in to the finals. If Cuba and Austrailia get 1 and 2 then we play Austrailia and go on to round 2! hehehehe.

It's funny how im only a fan of a sport when i have someone to root for. Its really exciting! I really hope Korea wins!

Girl Update - Having a get together again with the "complicated one" heh heh. And im going snowboarding with someone else! :) i hope one of them turns out to something good! Man, i hope dont mess this up. :)

Running Update - So i've been running the past 2 weeks now. I've been running the same route of 1 mile right now and when i started i think i ran it in around 30 min. Yea i know, im really out of shape. Just stopping and running again it took me a while.
Yesterday 13.11 min
Today 12.01 min.
Hopefully i get my mile time below 9 min. Thats my goal for Mar!

- fill out!

The Best Weather in the Whole World

I love the weather right now, its the best weather in the whole wide world.

The scent of fresh cool air filling up your lungs as if it gave you a magical power, the awesomeness of a rainbow soaring across the sky! The gentle breeze of air that hits your skin! The feeling of a new beginning, like the rain washed everything away and cleared you mind and body! There's no other feeling like it! The only other feeling that could come close would the feeling after a haircut, but that doesnt even compare to this!

I feel it gives me power to go on living my life and just do new things! I want to go traveling, to Japan and Korea! That would be fun! I can only imagine~!

But for now, back to my poor excuse for a life! I feel so alone! man i really want to love..... :P

LA Congress

So this past weekend, i went to LA Congress for the first time. If you dont know, LA congress is a weekend of a whole bunch of Catholics coming together listening in on seminars, concerts, talks, mass, etc... in Anaheim. It a Religious Education Congress. The place was right next to Disneyland, literally right next to Disneyland! We fought the urge to just ditch and go. This was a great weekend, i went with Tom, and a few friends from LA. I went to some music seminars and the first one really sucked, but the second one was... pretty good. it was basically a praise session with David Haas, a composer of contemporary catholic music. His voice is so powerful and crisp, he really has an amazing gift. The other seminar i went to was about how life is too complicated and how we've been trained to live these meanless lives. This was really interesting.

This man who gave the seminar was a genius. Spoke 9 different languages fluently, had like 3 Phd's. There were a lot of things that he said that really impacted me.

- "Anamcara" - means soul friend. Finding peace in the moment
he said that peace can be found only by embracing this moment. When you resist life as it is, the only result is pain.

- Spirituality does not equate to what you believe

- "Are we too busy with nothing to be busy for the things we genuinely have interest for?"

This made me think a lot more of where my faith is rooted. Ill be rethinking how i think about faith.

(sigh... i wish my brain was a computer)

Running

So since 3 days ago, i started running. Well, more like jogging or walking while hopping up and down. haha. Man, am i out of shape. I cant remember the last time i ran so much, maybe in high school when it was required. But, it feels good to run, Day one i felt like my heart and lungs were going to die. Today, only 3 days later, i feel much better, i can breathe easier and run farther without stopping haha. Today i ran 1 mile without stopping! yay! The first time i think i walked half of it.

But anyways, i hope to do this almost everyday. And hopefully lose some weight and get more fit in the process. haha, it should be the other way around.

Here's to a healthier life and to losing 50 lbs! lol :)

Faith

How would you describe faith? ill start like all people, webster. Webster's says that faith is an allegiance to duty or a person, belief and trust in and loyalty to God, something that is believed especially with strong conviction.

My brother, the philosopher (really a philosopher), always questions my faith, asking why do you go to church? What reason could you have for being Catholic? Many times before i couldnt answer him. If he asked me today, i still probably couldnt answer him. I once thought that faith was indescribable, it was impossible. I've lived a lot more life since then and experienced possibly much less than before, but i a Catholic, mostly because of the people that surround me. I dont do it because of God, simply put, i do it for other people. I guess this is a really bad reason. I really want to have a strong conviction for Catholicism, maybe i just need to learn more about my faith.


Lent starts tmw.
This Lent... My Sacrifices

1. Pray more
2. be more proactive about.... everything
3. read more
4. eat less (no eating out/sugar water)
5. learn to defend My personal faith


Fill, out!

So, one of my hobbies, i guess for the past year, year and a half is collecting Shirt Woot Shirts. To say the very least, they're entertaining. I get them off their site, shirt.woot.com They have really cool designs occasionally on the weekends. People design shirts and they vote each week and sell them during the weekends. But everyday they sell a design that their staff designs. This was todays,


My ArchNemesis. The Teddybear Slayer


This was the highlight of my day! haha, i ended up not buying it.

Fill, out.

Passion

So, ive been reading this great book, "The History of Love" by Nicole Krauss, that i mentioned in my previous post and i've come to think a lot about Love. Well, in a non pertaining to a relationship between a man and a woman, but Passion.

This last weeek, i've been trying to improve the "quality" of my life. Yea, Quality, what does that mean? I think, im thinking in terms of accomplishing things and just experiencing life to its fullest, not experiencing everything possible, but finding out what things you love and dont and focus on those things. I guess finding what your interests are and actively pursuing them. I think i have a lot of little passions in my life. And in a general, broader way of approaching it, i think my passion is to help others. In all the things that involve the thing that is my life, in some sort of way im helping others. Some people say they want to change the world is some way, make an impact. i think id be fine just doing day to day stuff for people who need it. Is that weird. Its not much of a passion, i guess there's not that much ambition in it, but i think its something i do best. maybe not. Sometimes i think im selfish and think what if all these things that i do when im not doing my "passion" what if im thinking too selfishly? My mother once told me i lack selfishness. She says, "you need to be selfish sometimes for your own good, do something that helps you! Then you can help others" I end up thinking about that a lot. In order to help others, i need to improve myself. It sounds simple enough, but its really difficult. I find its much easier to help others than yourself.

.......................................................................................................................................................

i thought about her again. Am i messing up? Should i not like her, because she has a boyfriend. Man, im really bad, i shouldnt be doing this. Im not deliberately going out with her or anything, i guess just as a friend im seeing her on occasion. Is it wrong to want them to break up? hahaha, ehhh....... man im a lonely lonely guy. sigh~ i want a girlfriend.

The First of Many Perhaps

Blogging, what an interesting idea.

I choose this to be private, but somehow it doesnt feel like it. Who came up with the idea of writing down stuff online? I feel confused about it, but it feels pretty good, having some kind of outlet for all the things that go on in my life. Considering i never really vent or anything.

I love to write, not good writing, but writing. Somehow writing things down on a journal or blog i feel in my mind a wave of peace and serenity.

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Today i had dinner with a friend, yes it was a she, a certain she that i really like, i cant tell her though cuz she has a certain someone as well, its not me. I thought in my head, man, this sucks, at the same time, she could break up with him any day. Here is the situation. ~.~ Her relationship is long distance and they meet once a month flying back and forth taking turns. Its really amazing. I really dont want to ruin what they have cuz it seems like they have something really good. But at the same time, i feel like i have an opportunity to fill in a void. i dont want to be a homewrecker, but i can help feeling that way. Of course, i havent acted on my feelings, but i want to be close with her.

Sigh~! I hate when i really like someone. I get obsessed and overthink all the possibilites and worry way too much over nothing. I'm trying really hard not to do it, but here i go ranting on and on about it. When i like someone i really like them for long periods of time. This one started ummm, exactly one week ago :)

So anyways we had dinner tonight in a nice restaurant and the food was pretty good, not awesome. I've been really in to cooking recently and i think i have a nack for cooking knowledge as well as actually cooking. But anyway, we had good conversations, and there were only 1 or 2 awkward pauses, but i managed to pull some stuff out of my head. We talked about our families, our goals, and good books that we are reading, in her case many books that she read partially. I especially enjoyed that part. (side note, if you're looking for a book to read, read The History of Love by Nicole Krauss) After dinner, we went to eat icecream and sat outside under a umbrella in the rain. we talked about our past love interests, well, mostly mine, i couldnt tell her she was the one current interest i had, so i told her about the time when i came remotely close to beginning a relationship with a girl. haha, she knew her. :( The ride back we talked about meeting up again sometime in the near future. She sounded really excited about it, so did I and we parted with her choosing a time a place! The End

I think im a deep romatic, or maybe i've been watching too many romance movies. :P I don't know but i romaticize about destiny and fate and all that stuff that i dont really believe in, i just with it was that easy. However, the truth is you gotta work hard for Love.

Anyways, That was today's highlight. I hope this leads somewhere good!