Anger

I dont know this feeling very well. I guess you could say, i hardly ever feel this emotion anymore. Sometimes i really wish that i could just unleash all my anger and rage for the past i dunno years and feel this immense release of tension.

But i entitle this chapter anger, because i really felt angry Tuesday. and i never, i mean never get angry. I get angry as often as seeing a meteor in the sky. The past 8 years of my life, i've devoted myself to one of only a few things, My Profession, My Family, and Church. Out of these 3, i would say that Church is the one i most am devoted to. But for some reason as i've been of service to this organization, if i want to voice my opinion, i immediately get shut down and am rejected forever. During the 2 1/2 hr meeting, i spoke for 5 min. 4min and 45 sec i was reporting my division of church. the other 15, i was suggesting a better way for us to better serve our community, It took 15 secs for them to cut me off, shut me up and never talk about it again! WT....Freak! I mean i understand that I may still be looked as a child to these 30, maybe 40+ adults, but damn it, show me some respect for what i've done the past 8 years! How hard is it to ask for you to just listen to my opinion. Im not even asking for you to agree with me, i just want to be heard. i never thought that i would ever dislike a part of church, but church politics sucks ass! Its things like this that really make me want to quit, then there'll be no one to take my place and our church youth will fall apart, and the kids will suffer. And i cant do that can I! I wonder if my predecessors went through this and came to the same conclusion. Well, this is me venting.

- fill wants to release all his hidden anger.