The First of Many Perhaps

Blogging, what an interesting idea.

I choose this to be private, but somehow it doesnt feel like it. Who came up with the idea of writing down stuff online? I feel confused about it, but it feels pretty good, having some kind of outlet for all the things that go on in my life. Considering i never really vent or anything.

I love to write, not good writing, but writing. Somehow writing things down on a journal or blog i feel in my mind a wave of peace and serenity.

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Today i had dinner with a friend, yes it was a she, a certain she that i really like, i cant tell her though cuz she has a certain someone as well, its not me. I thought in my head, man, this sucks, at the same time, she could break up with him any day. Here is the situation. ~.~ Her relationship is long distance and they meet once a month flying back and forth taking turns. Its really amazing. I really dont want to ruin what they have cuz it seems like they have something really good. But at the same time, i feel like i have an opportunity to fill in a void. i dont want to be a homewrecker, but i can help feeling that way. Of course, i havent acted on my feelings, but i want to be close with her.

Sigh~! I hate when i really like someone. I get obsessed and overthink all the possibilites and worry way too much over nothing. I'm trying really hard not to do it, but here i go ranting on and on about it. When i like someone i really like them for long periods of time. This one started ummm, exactly one week ago :)

So anyways we had dinner tonight in a nice restaurant and the food was pretty good, not awesome. I've been really in to cooking recently and i think i have a nack for cooking knowledge as well as actually cooking. But anyway, we had good conversations, and there were only 1 or 2 awkward pauses, but i managed to pull some stuff out of my head. We talked about our families, our goals, and good books that we are reading, in her case many books that she read partially. I especially enjoyed that part. (side note, if you're looking for a book to read, read The History of Love by Nicole Krauss) After dinner, we went to eat icecream and sat outside under a umbrella in the rain. we talked about our past love interests, well, mostly mine, i couldnt tell her she was the one current interest i had, so i told her about the time when i came remotely close to beginning a relationship with a girl. haha, she knew her. :( The ride back we talked about meeting up again sometime in the near future. She sounded really excited about it, so did I and we parted with her choosing a time a place! The End

I think im a deep romatic, or maybe i've been watching too many romance movies. :P I don't know but i romaticize about destiny and fate and all that stuff that i dont really believe in, i just with it was that easy. However, the truth is you gotta work hard for Love.

Anyways, That was today's highlight. I hope this leads somewhere good!